I have My point is when it comes to TV shows: Don’t just add fire to someone else’s fire.
This rule has kept my donkey several times. For example, one time on television, a writer responded to my post, saying that he wanted to share our dissenting views on Facebook with thousands of people. The words and tone of his comment indicate that he is not interested in real conversation, which is why I did not respond. If I had accepted the request or made a derogatory remark like “Get your bad notes,” I would have followed his playbook to test myself and hurt myself and my career. Do I have to do something else? I decided to consult an expert.
“You’ve done the right thing by not responding,” says Michele Borba, a psychologist and author Transportation. “There is no big answer, and it is often very forceful. The person wants attention, but you do not give them. They want to exploit and destroy you by stealing your platform. If you did, you would probably end up disillusioned with the fact that you could not defend yourself. ”
Sameer Hinduja, file manager a Web Search Engine he admits, saying, “Every time we respond to someone who wants to make fun of us, we show that we really care about their feelings. And we have given them the power to fire us.”
Not responding to the video may be a good way to show strength, instead of simply lending your voice to the tantrum. Then, research published in the newspaper Psychological Science shows that shooting a keyboard is not as effective as talking to one person or sharing views. Obviously, this works best if you are in a real relationship or you care about what the person thinks. Ulash Dunlap, an assistant in San Francisco, said: “If it’s someone who isn’t really in your life, then what you did was right.” “If it’s an important relationship, I suggest you send a message to the person and ask them to phone you to avoid miscommunication.”
Dunlap also recommends taking five minutes and checking the status quo before responding, and avoiding radio waves on the screen so people don’t see that they pushed your buttons. “If someone is looking down on you or harassing you because of your beliefs, or is looking to make themselves look good when you are wrong, or seeking fame through you, then, to end the discussion, perhaps without replying or saying, ‘Thank you for your answers,’ as organizations respond when they are challenged. ”
So how do we avoid feeling overwhelmed by these problems? “Remember, if you do not know you well, the other person may not understand you or experience what you are going through. They have no background, ”says Dunlap. He can also be a person who loves to win. “You can go through the person’s Facebook or Twitter feed, and you will see it. If so, find a way to leave the discussion. ”
“Ask yourself, ‘Was this really helpful or even harmful?’ says Borba. If it was helpful, you might know how to respond, but if it did hurt, you could ignore it. ”What if dating is important to you and you decide to talk to that person? What is the best way to move forward?
“It just depends on how you say it,” Borba says. “Shame is not a game. What you are looking for is a matter of dignity. There are several ways to look at things, and both are important. You do not want to be rude, as long as you are polite and do not ignore or offend the person. Just say, ‘This is one way to find out.’ ”
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