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Sorry kids, Father Christmas has a supply chain problem

Dear children

I have not been able to give you a present at your home for Christmas but your seasonal kindness is important to us. Now you have three options: 1: Plan for the New Year. 2: Exchange only for Santa’s voucher. Step 3: Stop and refund your parents’ money.

This year has been a difficult one for all, including my assistants and me in our long-distance conference. Although elves, flying deer and saints have a natural defense against coronavirus, we have seen all the locks. If there are pictures of us drinking wine and eating cheese fondue, please note that this was a work meeting in which I wore my red and white uniform.

As you know, I am a pioneer in direct business for consumers and I am not kept by old goods. While others rent out malls and live in supermarkets, I work from fictional sites with advanced magic tools, as well as a way to ship celestial animals.

But as I try to stay happy and bring hope to others, we have experienced a snowstorm of problems that result from availability, which results in leftovers from making, wrapping and distributing gifts. In anticipation of this, I acted quickly and rented my Chinese ships, but was forced to circulate around the Arctic Circle for several months, waiting for port.

We were already experiencing delays in building a new convention after the old one floated on the ice due to climate change. It has been difficult to find seasonal staff, following an elf permit issued with the principle of Make a Merry Christmas.

This was exacerbated by the high cost of timber used to build our new home. We installed three-dimensional glazing pumps and heaters to prevent future damage, but when our generators went off, we started burning nuts in the fire to keep them warm.

The complexity of the design has also brought back my new flying silo. As I curled up in bed, contemplating myself and walking down the path to your home, you might think it was a simple machine with a few sections, made of wood, but the technology has advanced far beyond what you can imagine.

Last year, I ordered a self-driving model that would allow me to sleep peacefully in a boat as I travel across continents, thus achieving a high-yielding gift without breaking the limits of driving hours. Unfortunately, it required several sensors and computer chips that were missing from the factory.

To make matters worse, I decided this year to increase the amount of food that my deer eats. They usually eat grass and ferns but I try to raise my natural standards, and in a hurry I change their pasture with a experimental mixture of moss. This has made my deer worry about how they can fly without adding fuel.

Sadly, I have to say another story. Like other happy adults, I have had a variety of Holy Christmas opportunities but this was abruptly suspended earlier this year, pending external research. I am confident that the scale of the scale, which allows me to fly in less crowded places at night, has been restored by the next yuletide.

Despite the difficulties, you will be glad to hear that I was able to reach your roof on time, with a pile of wonderful gifts. Unfortunately, I noticed that your parents installed a wood-burning fireplace, which makes it impossible to get down the last 10 meters – the chimneys are tight enough.

My breath pulled up and down the aisle, looking for a kind neighbor to share the pack with. We found that all the doors were closed because many were forced to isolate themselves due to the spread of Omicron. Even the Good King Wenceslas is under Level 2 restrictions.

In short, the cold coming we had, especially me. I understand the frustration you may feel and I want to assure you that I will not try to go beyond your expectations in the future. Although I am a gift giver, it will be my first day at Santa Inc.

Please choose one of the three options, and in the meantime I have created some unmistakable pictures of deer for the whole family to enjoy. Rudolf with a red nose and shiny horns is a rare commodity, and it can be easily altered if you get tired of it.

Yours sincerely,

Father Christmas

john.gapper@ft.com


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